


Red

by mel_tokio



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Menstruation, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:48:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27542617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mel_tokio/pseuds/mel_tokio
Summary: Liking her body can be hard, but Lloyd makes it easier.
Relationships: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Red

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr in 2018. Reposted here with minor edits.

“Colette, you’re bleeding!”

Lloyd’s voice woke her with a start.

Rubbing her eyelids, she took a moment to gather her bearings. As she shifted her body to an upright position, she glanced at her surroundings.

Wooden walls with scattered bits of ivy inching towards the ceiling like fuzzy green snakes. Potted plants in slight need of a trim. A desk cluttered with half-finished wood carvings. Her boyfriend’s body hunched over her, his brows furrowed in confused worry.

That’s right, she recalled. She was in Lloyd’s room. Their travels had brought them back to Iselia for the week, and Dirk had insisted that they stay at his house.

“No son o’ mine’ll be payin’ for an inn in his own hometown,” he’d asserted, hoisting a knapsack onto his shoulders for an impromptu camping trip. “And that applies to his lassie, too!”

And now here they were with the whole house to themselves. It was funny—she’d bundled herself in cocoons of blankets and pillows on the floorboards beneath her countless times at childhood sleepovers, but never until now had she shared Lloyd’s bed. Such a thing was only natural considering the nature of their relationship, but she’d still been wide awake for hours the previous night with all the little invisible bugs squirming around inside her, too restless to settle down and let her sleep.

She supposed that was why she’d slept so far into the day, only budging at the alarm of Lloyd’s voice.

“Huh?” she mumbled, her mouth still acquainting itself to the day. “I am?”

“Yeah, it’s all over the bed!” Lloyd gestured to a stain on the mattress that vaguely resembled a ripe strawberry in shape and color.

Colette examined the stain, consciousness finally greeting her like a slap to the face as she figured out its origin and color rose to her cheeks.

A few years ago, a similar stain had been a source of strange joy for her. It had been her first night sleeping after months of occupying a body that didn’t do all the things bodies were typically supposed to do, and waking up in a puddle of crimson had been an unglamorous reminder that she was once again a proper being of flesh and blood, that she probably would be for years to come. She’d welcomed it with open arms.

But  _ now _ ? Why did it have to happen  _ now _ ? She knew it was a thing to be grateful for, a badge of honor granted only to ordinary people, and there were few things she had ever desired more than to be ordinary. But in this selfish moment, she wanted more than that. She didn’t just want to be ordinary now; she wanted to have always  _ been _ ordinary. She wanted to be embarrassed like any other girl in her situation would be, and she didn’t want to feel so  _ guilty _ about that sense of embarrassment.

“Oh my gosh, Lloyd, I am  _ so _ sorry! I totally ruined your sheets!”

Lloyd stared at her like she’d grown a second head.

“What? What are you talking about? That’s not important!” He grabbed her shoulders. “What’s wrong? Do you need me to take you to a doctor?”

Colette slammed her eyes shut, hoping against all odds that this was just a bad dream and when she opened them she’d be lying on clean white sheets.

She opened them. No such luck. She swallowed the boulder caught in her throat.

Great, how was she going to fix this? In her excitement over spending the night in Lloyd’s bed, she’d forgotten that it was getting to be that time and failed to make the necessary preparations before snuggling up to him. This was supposed to be a fun, romantic week with her boyfriend, and she’d gone and ruined it. She was so  _ stupid _ !

“Oh, um, don’t worry about it,” she muttered, unable to look Lloyd in the eye. “I’m fine.”

“Bullshit! You’re bleeding a ton! Aren’t you in pain?”

Oh, dear. Why did he have to be so dense at times like this? As if the situation weren’t mortifying enough to begin with, she had to  _ explain _ it to him?

“No, it’s, uh…not that kind of blood.”

“Huh?”

Colette fiddled with a handful of hair. How was she supposed to tell him? Some sort of euphemism about a monthly visitor? No, that would go right over his head. She loved him, but he wasn’t always the easiest person to communicate with. She’d have to just put it bluntly and get it over with.

“Lloyd, um…”

She looked up at him for the briefest of moments. Big mistake. Those eyes were zeroed in on her, clearly filled with concern. He was so compassionate, and now she had to inform him that the person he was so worried about wasn’t injured; she was just careless and gross. She didn’t deserve his kindness.

“Lloyd, it’s my period.”

There. She’d said it. Now she could spend the rest of the week avoiding him out of shame.

“Oh. Oh.”

Now Lloyd was bright red, too—or at least he appeared to be through the corners of her eyes; no way was she going to look directly at him after saying something like that.

“So you’re not hurt then?”

“N-no, I’m okay.”

“Thank goodness!” He exhaled with relief. “You had me really worried there for a minute!”

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered. “I’m so sorry. I’ll go get changed and wash your sheets now.” She immediately began to strip the bed, making an effort to focus on all the tiny threads in the sheets and not the sympathetic brown eyes boring into the back of her head.

“I can wash them,” Lloyd offered. “They’re my sheets, after all.”

“No, it’s my fault,” she insisted, making a beeline for the room’s exit. “I’m the one who made a mess.” She bolted down the stairs, just barely avoiding tripping, before Lloyd had any chance to protest, and quickly changed into some clean clothes.

Grabbing soap and a washbasin on the way out, she made her way to the stream. She scrubbed with all her might at the red stain that had caused all this trouble, taking her anger at herself out on it. If only soap could make embarrassing memories disappear, too. Then she could enjoy the rest of her week with Lloyd as if none of this had ever happened. She scrubbed harder.

No, that wasn’t right. She had no right to complain about this side effect of being alive. She was never supposed to live this long. How  _ dare _ she take that for granted? She was terrible. She scrubbed even harder.

Unsure of whether she’d been outside for five minutes or an hour, she kept scrubbing, even after all traces of the blood appeared to be gone and the muscles in her hands were starting to throb from overexertion. Her work was interrupted by the weight of a hand on her shoulder. She jumped a bit at the unexpected touch.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” Lloyd’s voice rang out from behind her. “Um, I made us some pancakes for breakfast. With blueberries in ’em. You wanna come inside and eat?”

She braved looking at his face, squinting through the sunlight. Aside from the speck of pancake batter on his cheek, he looked no different from usual. He didn’t seem disgusted or anything. He was way too nice.

“Uh, sure. Thanks. Let me just hang this up to dry.”

“I’ll help,” said Lloyd, grabbing the opposite end of the fitted sheet before Colette could tell him no. They carried it to the clothesline together and returned to the kitchen, where Lloyd had stacked two towers of blueberry pancakes onto a set of Dirk’s handmade plates, almost ready to collapse.

“Enjoy!” he beamed, pulling back a chair for her and placing a bottle of syrup beside her plate.

Colette couldn’t help but smile a little at how proud he looked for setting this whole thing up. He was obviously trying to make her feel better, and while her stomach was still too busy doing backflips for her to have much of an appetite, she appreciated his efforts, and the pancakes  _ did _ look really good. She poured on some syrup and stabbed a fork and butter knife into her stack.

“Do they taste okay?”

“Mm-hm!” She nodded, swallowing a mouthful of doughy sweetness. “They’re great! Thank you so much, Lloyd!”

Lloyd, seated to her left, scratched his chin, a hint of a blush appearing on his face.

“Don’t mention it. I just, uh…I just wanted to make sure you got some food in you. You kinda rushed out of the house without eating anything. That’s no good.”

“Sorry for making you worry.” Colette stared down at her pancakes. “And, um, I’m sorry for messing up your sheets, too.”

Lloyd put his fork down and sighed.

“You don’t have to worry about that, you dork.” There was a hint of admonishment in his voice, as if he was giving a slow child some sort of lecture on what did and did not require an apology.

“But it’s gross, isn’t it?  _ I’m _ gross! You don’t have to pretend—”

She was abruptly cut off by a pair of muscular arms wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her closer as if to prevent her from running away.

“Colette, you are  _ not _ gross. I would never think that. Don’t say that about yourself ever again.”

She circled his arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest, hoping it might hide the moisture building up in her eyes.

“B-but! I got blood all over your bed! How is that not gross?”

Lloyd leaned further into the hug, his hands rubbing up and down her back in slow, rhythmic strokes.

“It’s just blood; it’s no big deal. We’ve dealt with plenty of that fighting monsters and stuff. And it’s all cleaned up now.”

He paused for a moment, as if debating whether or not to vocalize his next thought.

“Besides, this is a good thing, right?”

Colette sniffed, pulling her head back just enough to look at him.

“Huh?”

“Well, did you, uh, have periods when you were becoming an angel?”

“No.”

“That’s what I figured,” Lloyd explained. “So it’s just like eating or sleeping, right? It’s something your body can only do because you’re human and not an angel. So I think it’s a good thing.”

He was right. She knew he was right, and yet…

“But it’s all messy…and, and it’s disgusting!” she blubbered. “I hate it! I know you’re right and I should think of it as a good thing, but I still hate it! And I know I’m selfish and horrible for thinking like that, but I just…I just want to like my body!”

She felt Lloyd’s lips graze the top of her head before he nudged her face up to look at his.

“There’s nothing selfish about feeling that way. Everyone wants that, right?” He kissed her cheek. “And for what it’s worth, _ I _ like your body. I like it almost as much as the person inside it. It’s really strong, and it gives great hugs, and it’s good at petting dogs, and it’s pretty—like,  _ really _ pretty. And I want you to like it, too. You deserve that much.”

She held him tighter.

“You’re always so good to me. Thank you.”

“Well, of course I’m gonna be good to you, silly. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

They stayed in that position for a few minutes, only separating when Colette’s stomach started growling.

“You need to finish eating,” Lloyd ordered as he pulled away.

“So do you,” Colette countered.

“Good point.”

Colette felt her appetite slowly returning as she picked up where she left off on the pancakes. She smiled as she chewed. Lloyd was so thoughtful. He’d never admit it, but she had a hunch that he’d bought the blueberries specifically for her because he knew how fond she was of them.

The two finished their breakfast in no time, and much to Lloyd’s chagrin, Colette insisted on washing the dishes immediately.

“I know it’s a pain, but if we wait, little pieces of food will get stuck on there, and they’ll be harder to wash.”

“Yeah, I guess,” he shrugged. “Let’s just get this over with.”

They began their usual post-cooking routine: Lloyd would wash the first half of the dishes while Colette dried, and then they would switch jobs for the second half.

“So, um, does it hurt?” Lloyd asked, scraping away at a stubborn clump of batter.

“Huh?”

“Well, like, I remember learning in health class that sometimes people get cramps and stuff. Does that happen to you?”

A nervous giggle escaped Colette’s throat. “It’s not that bad.”

Lloyd looked up from the dishes to glare at her.

“ _ Colette _ . Be honest.”

“Well, um, I guess it hurts a little sometimes,” she admitted.

“I’m sorry, that sucks.”

“It’s okay.”

He handed her a newly clean plate to dry, biting his lip in apparent thought.

“Would it feel better if I gave you a massage or something?”

He was so sweet. He always seemed to notice when her back was sore and would frequently give her massages to soothe her aching muscles. Years of carving intricate designs into metal and wood had made his hands skilled at finding and detangling all the little knots under her skin. She felt a little guilty about accepting this gift from him when all she’d done all day was cause him trouble, but she knew that he’d insist on doing it even if she said no and decided there was no point in trying to fight it.

“That would be really nice. You give the best massages!”

He flushed with pride. “Heh, thanks. I’m glad you like them. I’ll give you one after we’re done with these dishes.”

“Thanks! Is it my turn to wash now?”

“Yep!”

The two switched places and made quick work of finishing the task at hand. After stuffing the last fork into the cupboard, Lloyd all but pushed Colette up the stairs and onto his bed.

“So, um, where does it hurt?”

She made circles around a section of her lower abdomen with her index finger. “Right around here.”

“Okay,” Lloyd nodded in determination. “So should I just rub that area?”

“Uh, yeah, I think that’d feel good.”

He placed his hands on her gently, like she was a porcelain figurine he didn’t want to risk breaking. Slowly, he moved his fingers back and forth across her body, making ripples in the fabric of her dress.

“Does that feel okay?”

“Yeah…but, um, could you maybe press down a little harder?”

It was funny: Colette had always found it so difficult to make requests. She never wanted to be greedy, never wanted to inconvenience anyone, and some filter in her throat usually prevented her from voicing any of her desires. But with Lloyd, it almost came naturally. Somewhere deep in her soul she knew that she could ask him to swim across an ocean for her, and he probably wouldn’t even hesitate—and he wouldn’t just be obliging her out of politeness either; he genuinely wouldn’t mind.

He applied some more pressure.

“Like this?”

“Yeah…but, um…”

He looked at her with an eyebrow raised, waiting for further instruction. Should she say it? As an adult in a committed relationship, such a suggestion would be nothing out of the ordinary, and they’d engaged in similar activities a few times in the past, but Lloyd was always so slow on the uptake when it came to these kinds of things. She didn’t want to pressure him into anything…

No. She was allowed to express what she wanted. Lloyd would be more upset if she didn’t do so. She squeezed a handful of the duvet beneath her and breathed in.

“Um, I think it would feel better without my dress getting in the way.”

Lloyd blinked. A few neverending seconds passed before a rush of blood crept to his cheeks, indicating that he understood the request. He looked away and scratched at the back of his neck.

“If that’s what you want, then okay.”

“You sure?” she asked. She needed to confirm that he was really all right with this and not just saying yes to be nice.

“Yeah, I just…want you to feel good, you know?”

“Okay, then.”

She reached under her dress for the waistband of her tights and slid them off…elbowing Lloyd in the gut in the process.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry!”

Lloyd just laughed. Suddenly capable of looking directly at her face again, he ruffled the hair on the top of her head.

“It’s fine, you dork.” He gave her a quick kiss. “Don’t worry about it.”

She held in her lungs the additional apologies her reflexes begged her to vocalize. If Lloyd said it was fine, then it was fine, right? She sat up and reached behind her to unzip her dress with a trembling hand.

_ Calm down, Colette _ , she told herself.  _ He’s seen you in your underwear before. This is no different from those times. _

Except as she slid out of her dress, she realized that it  _ was _ different. In the past, she’d at least been able to prepare in advance and wear a cute, lacy bra and panties that didn’t have the unsightly wings of a pad sticking out of them. And the indentations her tights left in her skin made it all too noticeable how bloated she was. This was a mistake. This wasn’t how she wanted him to see her.

“I’m sorry. I don’t exactly look…sexy right now.”

Lloyd shook his head and scooped her face into his hands.

“What are you talking about? You’re beautiful. You always are.” He kissed her again, more forcefully this time.

“You really think so?”

“I  _ know _ so.” He stated it with the conviction of a man running for office. When he put it so confidently, she almost felt like it must be true. “Now let’s get back to that massage!”

“Right!”

Without her clothes, she could feel all the calluses on his hands, like tangible fingerprints that made him  _ him _ . He comforted her so effortlessly—he somehow knew exactly how to ease her pain without any sort of direction. As oblivious as he could be at times, he had these moments of uncanny lucidity when she couldn’t help but wonder if he was a little bit psychic. He just knew her so well.

It wasn’t long before her cramps all but subsided.

“That’s good. You can stop now if you want.”

He looked up at her from the foot of the bed, flecks of sunlight reflecting off the warm brown of his irises.

“You sure?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I feel a lot better now.”

_ And I wouldn’t want your arms to get sore _ , she added mentally.

He situated himself next to her against the headboard.

“Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Well…” The word escaped her mouth on its own, denying her the opportunity to think her next thought through. Lloyd looked at her, awaiting his orders. “I guess it does feel a little weird that I’m in my underwear while you have all your clothes on.”

Lloyd leaned back, his face growing pink.

“Oh, uh, I’m sorry. You can put your clothes back on if you want.”

She shook her head, surprising herself with how comfortable she was with what she was about to ask of him.

“No, that’s not what I mean. I mean…I want you to take your clothes off, too. If that’s okay.”

“Oh.” He instantly turned from pink to tomato red. “Um, if that’s what you want.”

“Yeah.” She could feel her own cheeks gaining pigment. “I just, um…I think you’re really good-looking, so it would make me happy to see you like that.”

His face somehow achieved the impossible and got even redder. “Sh-shut up.”

She giggled and ran a hand through his hair. Gosh, he was adorable. “It’s the truth!”

“Well, if you insist.” He leaned forward and started unbuttoning his shirt.

She watched intently as he shrugged off his sleeves and removed his trousers. He wasn’t wearing an undershirt today. She wasn’t complaining.

As he settled down next to her again, she directed her eyes downward without thinking. Ever the individual, he was wearing violet boxer briefs with a yellow paisley pattern. He had such a unique sense of style, and she loved it. Her eyes traveled across each swirl on the cotton, the bright colors complementing his tanned sk—

Oh.

She grinned. Apparently he’d really meant it when he’d said he found her beautiful; there was no faking that kind of physical reaction.

Noticing where her gaze had landed, he quickly turned his body away from her.

“S-sorry,” he stammered. “I just…You look really good.”

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him back towards her, shaking her head as her smile widened.

“No, it’s fine. It makes me really happy.  _ You _ make me really happy.”

Before he could respond, she sank her lips into his, and he returned the kiss harder, one hand caressing her back while the other tangled itself in her hair.

Silencing the voice in her brain telling her it was a stupid idea, she unhooked her bra and let it fall onto the mattress. She grabbed Lloyd’s hand and guided it to her chest, just below her Cruxis crystal.

“You can…touch me here if you want.”

He nodded vigorously and immediately cupped a breast in each hand, thumbs tracing small circles into her skin as he kissed her some more.

“Sorry I’m not exactly…well-endowed,” she mumbled against his lips.

“No.” He broke the kiss to move his head down towards her heart. “Don’t talk like that. You’re  _ perfect _ .”

Dozens of little kisses landed on her breasts as she rubbed his back, feeling the muscles moving beneath her fingers.

“So are you.”

She lifted his chin up to hers and breathed in the taste of his lips. She’d been silly to ever worry about him finding her gross and unattractive. For reasons beyond her comprehension, he loved her—not just her as a person, but her body, too—a body that, in spite of all its inconveniences, allowed her to feel the touch of his, so she was glad to have it.

She pulled away for a brief moment.

“Hey, Lloyd...?”

“Yeah?”

“...Do you have a towel?”

Maybe that stain hadn’t been so awful in the end. After all, red  _ was _ Lloyd’s favorite color.


End file.
